why dont you guys comment?

I need to feel pretty.

i think that when i my adrenaline starts pumping really fast it makes me want to cry.

tatum got into a fight tonight, she's bleeding now.

so badly i want to be skinny. SO BADLY.

my bio final is in less than 12 hours.

ive invested maybe 2 hours into studying for it.

my grade is divided into thirds: lecture, lab, and final.

i have a 66 lecture grade right now. i dont know my lab grade (im anticipating between a 60 and a 70), so basically i am relying on my final. which, like i said, ive studied 2 hours for.

guys, im in so much trouble. 

if i dont pass bio...

my GPA sucks. 

i cant take a&p next semester.

i dont get to take the classes that the rest of my fig are taking.

and my parents wasted lots of money.

i know this is so cliche but i really really mean it now, can you please pray for me? here, ill even give you the words to say:

jesus- my best friend tricia really needs to do well on her biology final. she understands that she messed up big by not investing time into studying. she bought the study guide for anatomy next semester and seriously plans on doing better. LORD PLEASE JUST HELP HER OUT.

last night Cameron came over. :D

he drove to Arlington and we went to Target. the original plan was to go to the mall to by a secret Santa gift but by the time he got here and everything it was already closed. so we went to Target and played in the toys and stuff.  he made me laugh, A LOT. then we came back to my room and talked for a couple hours.  he met Hunter, and Sades Cameron told me he approves. we talked about lots of different things. he's so cool. hopefully we will hang out more over Christmas break. i'm nervous about kissing him. 

Saturday night South came and spent the night. it was really nice to see her. she's doing good. 

that night was also our gift exchange with the Asians. it was fun, i got Bath and Body Works stuff. we also camped out, well South didn't, but we did. by camped out i mean we made smores in the microwave and slept on the floor. it was awkward waking up cause everyone had left and it was just me and and one asian boy left on the floor. and we woke up at the exact same time so it was a weird convo.  

in conclusion, my weekend was fun. i see potential in cameron. and im going to miss the asians.

ps-i haven't started studying for bio yet. f.

A couple days ago, I had the most amazing nap. I was laying on my bed on top of my covers, with a blanket, reading my new book (Eat, Pray, Love- I saw it on Opera, it's really really good so far), with the overhead light off, the window open, sun shining in, the Christmas Tree on, while Parker sat in the living room and played his guitar.  I dozed off and ended up sleeping for a couple of hours.  It was wonderful. 

Cameron is a volunteer fireman. 

I've been having dreams about Katie, I miss her, but I know I can't go back to that. She's only going to hurt me again. She doesn't even understand what she did wrong. At first I felt relieved that I didn't have to worry about her and Caymen anymore, but now I'm starting to stress about it.

Brittany is on and off with me. She's not a very nice person. But I think I'll be ok for another week. She really is a nice person. I love her. 

I cannot wait for you guys to come home. I would really enjoy all of us having a sleepover here. Or just a night with all of us together. Christmas break is gonna be off the chain. 

Over Christmas I'm going to do work crew at Crooked Creek.

During the summer I'm going to Windy Gap as a leader, scary.

Then before or after that I'm doing Summer Staff somewhere else.

Did you guys fill out your summer staff forms yet? It wouldn't open on my computer, I need new ones.  

I love Younglife. 

just my day

today:

i woke up 45 minutes late for class, but it's ok.

katie was there, she looked pretty.

i got my average. i have a 101.3 in math. 

bobby came back from class with me, we played rock band.

my favorite thing to do is drums, i also enjoy singing, i despise the song maps by the yeah yeah yeahs. actually i do like the song, but it's always stuck in my head.

then we went to lunch, i had chick-fil-a. i also had a feeling that i would meet my husband, so we looked for him. no luck.

then we did bobbys laundry, then took a nap. and yes, it was together. 

then i woke up and went and got a cookie cake with brittany and karla and took it to my nursing class.

in my class we made a movie about nursing, it was dumb. but then we ate cookie cake.

then i came back and played jetman on facebook, i stink.

then i went to the gym with brittany. i did cardio and then abs with my friends. (at uta the gym is a very social place)

i came back to find nick in my room. we played rock band and talked for a while. i showered, he hung out. 

then i got ready, we played more rock band, then i left and went to the lamar choir concert.

i am a yl leader at lamar now, i have campaigners tomorrow night. 

i met my team in the parking lot of a church and we walked inside together. (my team is holly, katie parker, and a boy who is also new named blake)

the concert was good, i prayed a lot for anyone who was looking at me to think i was cool. 

then we went to a birthday party for another arlington leader. it was really fun, we played catch phrase. they weren't as good as us. but they're really funny. i met a few potential husbands.

then i came back and bobby and i studied for my biolab final which is tomorrow.

then brittany came over and we chilled.

then my asian roommate and her awkward boyfriend type thing were flirting, it was sorta gross.

now im writing on here. i left out some phone talkin and some facebookin.

boys:

bobby and i are good friends.

nick constantly tries to kiss me but knows it will never happen.

i like cameron. 

brittany is trying to hook me up with a boy, he's hot. but not my type.

im working on getting over derek, im mostly there. im pretty sure it's just the way things were that i miss. he's a different person now.

girls:

danielle, i miss you. i haven't talked to you in a couple days.

whitney, i hope you get unstressed.

lauren, i like the conversation that we had last night. it was really nice.

sadie, i am so glad that we got to talk tonight. i love you a lot.

katie and i still aren't talking. 

i felt like telling yall my whole day today, i dont that will happen everyday.

Lauren, Whitney, Danielle, Sadie

I get confused on who I tell what to so I think that it would just be easier to write my life on here.

Most everything I say is something that I will change my mind on in two days, it's quite unimportant. This way you only have to read what you want but you can still be in on my weirdness if you'd like.

Please don't tell people about this, I want it to just be for you guys.  

I love all of you so much.

I'm not going to try and be profound and stuff, I just want you to know what I did that day and the great ideas I had and my latest boy info.