i hope that you are outside right now reading this. it's a beautiful, beautiful day here in Arlington. i really want to skip all my classes and just play in the grass. i discovered a secret place. it's like a nook in the fine arts building. i think the fine arts building should be classified as a secret place in itself. i walk by it every single day and never go in. but today i have been walking around all day so i figured maybe i should see what the inside looks like. so i went in and found coolness everywhere. everybody had macs and glasses. there is an einstein bagels and an art gallery, which i spent like half an hour in because i thought it was so neat. and the best part (the secret nook) is like the tunnel that leads to the outside. it's a big patch of bright green grass, a huge artsy looking fountain, cute wooden benches on multiple levels, a little house thing that you can lay in and see through, lots of plants, a cement building/balcony with cool glass windows, and it smells like Jesus. this is my new favorite part of the world.
today i was talking to whitney and she was passionately talking about how we have so much to be thankful for. like not even our health and family and blah blah blah but like our shoes and little details. then later i was walking around with jesus just looking at people and i started wishing that i had some cool jeans and then i realized that jeans cost money, and we all know that i am in a deficit for money right now, so then i thought about what whitney said and i just filled up with love. i promise you my heart got bigger. i could just envision my insides pack jammed with this elation for life. it was like a bright magnificent light just bursting through my heart. i was suddenly so aware of everything. i don't need stuff, i totally don't. God gives me glorious things for free! like trees, there are trees everywhere here. they can be mine. this little seed that grows and constantly changes, it's insane! and the sky, that's mine too, it's the massive artwork that is new every time i look at it. rain, sun, weeds, bugs! i have so many marvelous things! it's just a weird feeling when you realize you have everything. i don't completely expect for you to understand what i am feeling and it's super hard to express but i feel it and it's real. i don't mean to sound selfish by claiming all of these things as mine. i do realize that they're God's along with everything else, but it's fun to pretend and I'm sure He doesn't mind sharing with me. just to let me feel wonderful for a while I'm here, on earth.
have you realized how much each of us have grown? i was so scared of failing without you guys always around to guide my life but i have totally blossomed. all of us have. we've all changed, mostly for the better, it's crazy! growing up is dumb but i think i like it. i like to be able to be alone, i like to love, i like to do whatever i want. and although we're all growing into different people we're still together. i love you more than ever.
whitney: you are beautiful. I'm loving listening to you grow. i haven't been able to stop smiling all day after talking to you this morning.
danielle: precious is that word that comes to mind when i try and describe you. the way your mind works baffles me and i can't get enough of it. you are one of the most fun people i have ever encountered. i also like your style.
lauren: I'm using a thesaurus right now to try and find the words that i need to describe my emotions for you but I'm not finding anything suitable. if ever i am sad or happy or grateful or confused you are my go to girl. you make me feel the way that it smells outside right now.
sadie: i love your social skills. everyone likes you. you're super hot. i think about you every single day when i get dressed, no joke. thank you for your wisdom.
and stacey: i told you i'd put you in my "story". thank you for being the most real person i've met here at UTA. you make me feel like everything is ok. whenever you talk to me i just feel as if you are so sincere. i would really like to get to know you more, you are very intriguing to me. please don't give everyone this link, i don't want the whole world to read this.
I'm ready to go somewhere. i think it's time for me to make something happen in my life. pray for that.
rules for life:
read your bible daily
always have the windows open
don't ever be in a sorority (or club)
do your best to be content with your life the way it is until God is ready to give you something new
be respectful to everyone (including rude professors)
love your friends more than yourself
pray continuously
give your stuff away, don't be greedy
don't show boys your boobs
lay on the ground
be outside more than you are inside
make it a point to build relationships
don't spend your time worrying
BE SELFLESS
listen to smart people when they talk
know that all you do is an experience, take it in
and always always smile
i'm in love with each of you.
call me. <3
